Receiving feedback can often spark anxiety, dread, and fear. Similarly, providing feedback can also be challenging. Feedback is often seen as a double-edged sword, but it can be a powerful tool for growth and development. To truly benefit from feedback, it’s essential to understand what it is and what it isn’t.
Feedback isn’t a universal truth; it’s often based on someone’s subjective experience. Adopting this perspective is the first step to feeling empowered when receiving feedback.
Feedback can reveal blind spots and offer new insights, aiding in self-awareness and progress toward goals. Many people struggle with receiving feedback due to various reasons, including:
- Fear of judgment
- Lack of clarity
- Timing issues
- Relationship concerns
- Limited opportunity for discussion
These challenges often stem from fear, triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response. People develop various coping mechanisms, from pushing through to avoiding feedback altogether, in an attempt to regain control. However, these approaches can negatively impact well-being, work relationships, and future growth opportunities.
Changing the paradigm: from fear to empowerment
How can you shift from fear to empowerment when it comes to feedback?
Don’t wait for feedback to find you
It’s tempting to wait for feedback from managers, leaders, or peers during scheduled meetings. However, this can create a sense of obligation rather than empowerment. In fact, research indicates that a significant percentage of people engage with feedback because they feel they have to. Instead, take control by identifying your professional goals and actively seeking feedback that aligns with your desired changes and development. You can also give yourself feedback through regular self-reflection. Your perspective is valuable, and reflecting on your experiences can be a powerful practice. These proactive practices can foster a healthier relationship with feedback, reducing fear and increasing receptiveness.
Share the responsibility
Remember that sharing feedback is an exchange, not a transaction. Clear expectations and mutual understanding are crucial when seeking or receiving feedback. By asking clarifying questions, you ensure that both you and the feedback provider are on the same page. Questions like “Can you tell me more about what you’ve observed?” or “Could you help me understand x?” can be very helpful. These questions should be asked with curiosity and a willingness to consider different perspectives. Clarity in feedback exchanges fosters confidence in deciding how to use the information.
Recognise that you have a choice
Feedback is a perspective, not an absolute truth. It’s someone’s interpretation of an experience. While valuable, not all feedback needs to be acted upon. You have the power to choose your response.
Consider these strategies:
- Reflect and discern: Take time to consider the feedback for recurring themes and alignment with your experiences and goals.
- Seek multiple perspectives: Gather feedback from various sources for a more comprehensive understanding.
- Choose your path: The decision to act on feedback is yours. Sometimes, feedback simply validates your current path.
- Take actionable steps: If you choose to make changes, break them down into manageable steps.
- Consider the context: Evaluate feedback in relation to past experiences and whether similar feedback has been given before.
Conclusion
People want to grow, contribute, learn, and feel valued and recognised in their organisations. This involves self-awareness, goal setting, and understanding your progress. Ultimately, feedback plays a crucial role in this process. By embracing an open mind and a willingness to learn, you can transform feedback into a catalyst for positive change, turning perspectives into possibilities.
Discover ‘Can I Offer You Something?’
‘Can I Offer You Something?’ is all about overcoming the horrors of organisational feedback. You can order your copy from the publisher’s website here or from Amazon UK here.
