Do you talk to yourself? Do you pay attention to the messages it is telling you? Most people have some kind of internal dialogue, for some there is a constant commentary in their head, sometimes it’s intermittent. It could be a wise advisor or a hurtful critic...
Did you know that around 80% of our internal self talk is negative? This was discovered in a study conducted in the 1980’s. There is merit in making your self talk more positive, even a 10% shift makes a huge difference to your self esteem and emotional regulation. Often though, self talk is not just idle chatter there to annoy you, it’s your minds way of trying to communicate with you and give you a message.
If you can unpack the message and work with it, the negativity will resolve itself. Think about it - why would your own mind be cruel to you? Not just because it’s fun, but to help you in some way.
Pay attention to the themes in your self talk, rather than get caught up in the specifics. What is it trying to teach you? If you beat yourself up for making bad life choices your mind might be pointing to things it wants you to consider in future.
Does the language mean something to you? Sometimes the message is in the language. For example if your mind is always looking for stupidity in others, it could be that you fear being judged as stupid. When you point the finger there are always three pointing back at you. Opportunities for self development are often caught up join self talk in the way we view other people.
Think about your habitual internal sayings. What’s their tone as well as the language? Are they empowering or are they despairing or chastising. What could this mean that you could work on? For example if you say ‘why does this always happen to me?’ it is likely that you don’t feel in control of your life, so that’s where your work is, not necessarily in analysing the ‘why’.
Neuro-Linguistic Programme is excellent for working on empowering your self talk. Find out more about NLP in this short video.
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Karen attained ranking #6 in 2018s Global Gurus - NLP Gurus top 30 ranking. Find out more about it here.
Founder of Monkey Puzzle and an INLPTA NLP Master Trainer, John is also a Clinical Hypnotherapist and author of the award winning book Real Leaders for the Real World. His new book Time Mastery; Banish Time Management Forever is out now.